Everyone knows who it is. The killer whale at Sea World who spins on its back like a breakdancer in Brooklyn and poses like the letter O's bottom half for photos. It is the most popular attraction at Sea World and draws a stadium full of Shamu-heads so you're kind of obligated to see it if you're there. Right?
The show opens with a deep, authoritative voice accompanying a film. That's right, I said a film. Not just a few images but a short film, which plays intermittently throughout the show. The film tells the story of a boy, wearing a necklace with a whale tale pendant and rowing in a canoe on the ocean, who happens to see a killer whale rocket into the sky and fall back into the water. This experience makes the boy dream of one day swimming with whales. Cheesy? Yes, extra, extra cheesy. If the film were a pizza, you couldn't tear a piece from the rest of the pie without creating a stringy mess.
So one of the male trainers comes out wearing the same whale tale pendant necklace and on the big screen is a picture of the boy in the canoe and the trainer, side by side, both wearing these triple cheesy whale tale necklaces. The boy from the film is supposed to be the trainer. But let's be honest here, boys and girls. It's not.
The message: BELIEVE and your dreams can come true. If you dream of one day swimming with killer whales and riding their noses across a vast pool in front of thousands of people, it could come true.
Blah! I just puked.
Every show/story needs a hook and the film isn't making the cut. So how bout this? Send a 10,000 pound orca out there and have it jump fifty feet in the air and splash five hundred people when it lands. That's the best way to get everyone's attention, especially the youngsters. Then have the whales do more tricks and splash more people and tell me a little about each one of these amazing creatures. Hey, Sea World, it ain't about the trainers. It's about the big black and white things called killer whales. You know, the reason you're in business in the first place.
Cut the cheese piece film with the boy and the necklace and give me more cow bell, I mean killer whale!
Did my daughter enjoy the show? She did. But during the three or four film parts, she said, "Where da whale go?"