Words, Words, Words...

...have you heard
A bird in hand is much better than,
Any number free to wander
Fly away...stay
You pay for what you get
You pay for what you get

Some old school Dave Matthews lyrics to get started today.

In my sixth grade class we're covering words that can be one or two words (if that makes any sense).

Perhaps this will clear it up:

always = I will always remember you.

all ways = The boy looked all ways before crossing the busy street.

away = The birds flew away and never came back.

a way = I thought of a way to earn money.

awhile = We had to wait awhile for the doctor.

a while = We sat on the beach for a while. (two words when following a preposition)

Yuck! English can be a drag sometimes. Then again, there are some times when I really dig it.

Disasters & Bullies

One of my students, a sixth grade girl, is moving from southern California to Texas this summer. The class is currently taking a test on the first three parts of the Trojan War by Olivia Coolidge. I just walked by the girl's desk and her post-test silent reading book is titled Texas Disasters (pictured). Talk about foreshadowing!

Last night I talked to Mom on the phone. She told me about my long lost aunt who is married to a guy named Mouton. Mouton? First off, I've never heard the name. Well, there was a baseball player named Lyle Mouton who hit balls to the moon when he played for LSU, but that's pretty much it. My response to Mom was, "That's a perfect bully's name if I've ever heard of one."

Both of these instances remind me how many details of everyday life we, as writers, can bring to our stories and characters to make them real and multi-dimensional (try saying that five times in a row).

Poor girl. I hope she avoids disaster at her new school.

Memorial Day Flags

On this day of remembrance and observance, best wishes to all of those who have lost loved ones who gave their lives for our country and freedoms.  Now for proper flag rules, most of which Americans overlook. 

Taken from Gettysburg Flag Works:

Most half staff days suggest that the flag is at half staff from sunrise until sunset on the days of the order. Memorial day is the exception where the flag is at half staff from sunrise until noon.

For flags that can't be lowered, such as those on many homes, the American Legion says that attaching a black ribbon or streamer to the top of the flag is an acceptable alternative. The ribbon should be the same width as a stripe on the flag and the same length as the flag

For a wall mounted flag, three black mourning bows should be attached to the top edge of the flag, one at each corner and one in the center.

While we're on the topic of flags, I'm flying one in my new novel. Well, it's not flying, it hangs on a wall in a character's home. Here's what it looks like:

Think: soccer, world cup, the new brazilian neighbor girl. (really didn't mean to tell you what to think.)

I'm all for breaking a few rules here and there. Whatever you do, fly your flag with pride today. 

Greek Gods & Goddesses

More of my sixth grade students' creations:




Senses - God of five senses.




Nicko - Goddess of harp and animals




Sildera - Goddess of ice and wolves




Nora - Goddess of honor and light. The Bright One.

Neck Ties

I've been thinking a lot about neck ties recently, probably because I'm wearing one today. I loathe these days, partly because I don't understand neck ties. I mean, we (men) are supposed to drape this long rope, which is tapered at one end, around our neck, tie it in a knot, and pull it up tight around our Adam's apple so it hangs vertically down our chest and stomach like an elephant trunk. Hmmm. I don't like neck ties so much. Yes, I call them neck ties. Not ties. NECK ties. Why? Because the word NECK really brings it home.


Who started this mess? And when did society become so demanding of gentlemen's dress garb. It's just a tied up piece of rope hanging from a neck. Not to mention, many neck ties are henious sights. Reindeer, giant circles, clashing colors, stoplights, snowflakes, gnomes... none of these designs make a gentleman look nice or dapper, even the ones with diagonal stripes.


You realize by now that wearing one of these nooses is a real problem for me. It's uncomfortable, ugly, and takes several tries to make it hang appropriately, if that's possible. Though I'm a teacher, I'm luck my school doesn't enforce gentlemen to wear such monstrosities every day. I know of many who must, including:




























My dad wears a neck tie, but only on Sundays. You can probably guess his job. But me, I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. Converse or bare foot, either one works. Really, if it were up to me, I wouldn't even get dressed. Okay, maybe I would.

The day I get a job wearing a daily neck tie is the day--well, I do need a job and I guess you never know with the economy and all. But man, the more I think about it, the stranger NECK ties become. We are part of a fashionably weird society.

hpy mthrs day, m!

And on the seventh day, he rest. This wasn't written about me (crossing fingers and hoping to avoid lightning bolts for suggesting confusion with Him).

Today started with breakfast burritos straight from my butter-lined frying pan. Eggs, goat cheese, salt, pepper, and a little hand-to-spatula love. (Wym-note: never leave the pan unattended when cooking eggs; they can morph to rubber before you can say 'I have to pee') Drop some of those Maa-Maa eggs in a flour tortilla, dabble some hot sauce over the top, and your set to wrap and eat. (Maa-Maa = goat noise = goat cheese = goat eggs). After a healthy (meaning a lot of) breakfast, my wife and I piled in the car with Blondie and set off for the Malibu lagoons. It was overcast and cooler but still fun to build sandcastles and watch Blondie stomp them to ruins like Poseidon.

And then there's Mothers' Day.

This one gets me all jumbled up inside. I don't dislike Mothers' Day, but I feel it, along with many other holidays, have been Hallmarked for a long time. Halloween, Valentine's, St. Patrick's, you get the point.

Do we really need one day set aside to thank our mothers? Doesn't that kind of say it's okay to not thank our mothers the other 364 days a year? After all, there's already a whole day set aside for it, so why express gratitude any other time of the year, just save it for your annual pharmacy card-buying spree in early May.

I'll be the first to admit that I've fallen into this 'trap.' Buy a card at CVS or Target, underline a few words, write a lovely note with a sentimental closing, stamp it, and mail it off to Mom. But here's the thing, by now shouldn't it be okay to just send an email or e-card?

Before you jump down my throat, hear me out. I'm not saying Mom isn't worth $2.99. I'm saying she's worth more than a poem written by someone who freelances from Victorville and happens to know a thousand good ways to say thank you. As a writer, I can't believe I'm still buying cards written by other people. Slap me silly and call me Hacky.

From now on, I'm penning the cheesiness myself. But I'm not going the paper route.

Here are five reasons why email, e-cards, or Facebook wall writings are acceptable electronic avenues to send Mothers' Day tidings:

1. It's cheaper (free)

2. It uses less paper (none)

3. Message gets there faster (in like a second or two)

4. Better for the environment (see #2)

5. Spellcheck

These are not acceptable ways to wish Mom happy Mothers' Day:

1. Emails that are postscripted with "Sent from my Sprint Blackberry" or "Sent from my mobile device" or "Sent from my iPhone." This is better than no message at all, but Mom doesn't want good wishes on the run. If you're going to type it, sit down at a keyboard and put some thought into it. Preferably more thought than it takes to buy a card someone else wrote.

2. Instant Messaging/Texting. Mom does not want missing letters. (See title of this post)

3. Chatting on Facebook (must at least be wall writing)

4. Singing telegram (sing it yourself; do singing telegrams still exist?)

5. Sending verbal good wishes via another person, even if it's a family member.

Yes, I did buy a card this year. I won't do it again. Next year I'm going all techie and giving Mom the goods in my own words. I mean, Mom has a Facebook page so she kind of asked for it.

"Sent from my mobile device"

Budding Artist

I drew the following pictures, mostly self-portraits, when I was six years-old (1984). As you can tell, the masterpieces stand on their own, needing no captions. Please, do not contact me for illustrating jobs, as my waiting list is long and I'm booked until next February.

Comment as you'd like:

Lethargia & Syncopanus

In class today I handed out this assignment:

Directions: Create a god/goddess and write a myth about him/her. Your myth may be one story or several anecdotes about your god/goddess. Known Greek gods/goddesses may play minor parts in your myth. You may also use creatures you've learned about or one found in your Greek myth packets. In addition, you are to draw a picture of your god/goddess.

Due Friday, May 8, 2009

Requirements: One page, typed, double spaced, Times New Roman – 12

Grade: you will be scored on originality of content, clarity, and writing mechanics (sentence structure, verb tense, punctuation, capitalization, etc.)

God/Goddess Name:

Role (may have more than one):

Minor Characters/Creatures:

plot points (in bullet point form):

I think it looks like fun. I mean, if I were in sixth grade, I'd want to do it. Better than a grammar workbook page or writing a paragraph comparing characters in Shakespeare (though I do love Shakespeare).

The idea of creating your own mythological figure created much excitement in the room. After I explained the assignment in detail and answered questions, students immediately began talking about their ideas. I let their ideas unfold verbally because it's one of those things that 12 year-olds need to express or they explode like volcanoes (even the best students)

When they finally got rid of their word vomit, I walked around the room and glanced over shoulders. What I saw impressed me:

Lethargia - god of feast and gluttony

Meteosaurus - god of meteors

Ambrosiastus - god of food

Orestia - goddess of hope

Syncopanus - goddess of rhythm

Demeanitus - god of posture and demeanor

I'll post more as they come in. They're a skyful of fun. Mine would have to be either Athleticoso - god of sport and compeition or Grammatican - god of proper usage.

What god or goddess would you create?